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  • Shakina Cooley

Addicted To Pain

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that love doesn’t hurt. Well, if you’ve experienced a bad breakup or cared more for someone than they did you I’m sure you’d beg to differ. What I am talking about here though is pain that absolutely could not ever be attributed to what love really is. Love is praying for someone/their safety and success more than yourself or your own. Love is not only wanting to, but actively trying to be a better person so that you’re the best partner you can possibly be. Love is feeling like you’re the luckiest person in the world to be with your partner regardless of any physical changes, ailments, flaws, etc. Love is… absolutely beautiful! What love is not though… it is not a partner who cheats on you repeatedly. It is NOT someone who belittles you and makes you feel beneath them every chance they get. It is NOT having physical altercations simply every time you “make” him/her upset. It is NOT being told you must keep your relationship a secret for this reason or that one. And let me add here that although I’ve said it many, MANY times before, it warrants saying again that ABUSE IS NOT ONLY PHYSICAL! Just because he/she doesn’t physically hit you does NOT mean you aren’t abused. There are many forms of abuse and you don’t deserve ANY of it. The thing is, I believe that for many different reasons, maybe your parents’ relationship or marriage didn’t work out and you don’t want to end up like them. Maybe you’re afraid of being single. Maybe you’re comfortable. Maybe you got used to seeing abuse in your home growing up and it’s all you know. Whatever the cause, know that it’s not healthy. It’s not healthy to continue being in toxic relationships and/or living situations. I think people unknowingly become so content with feeling pain, not knowing that they deserve better that they stay in relationships that are anything but happy. This doesn’t have to be you. Abuse is NOT okay regardless of whether it’s a man OR a woman doing the abusing.  Break the cycle. You can do this. Don’t keep going back.

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