• Shakina Cooley

Boys Will Be Boys… Men Will Be Men

I don’t know if you’ve heard or even care to hear about the cheating scandals that have been in the news recently. One wife in particular talked about her decision to stay with her husband amid controversies involving him and other women. Now, I can not say what I would do in that situation as I am not and have never been in this particular situation, however, a few things come to my mind after hearing her response.

1. She said that it was her faith that allowed her to forgive her husband and remain by his side. While I am a Christian and I believe that God change people and their hearts, I do, at times wonder if we as women sometimes use religion as a crutch to stay where we are comfortable. It also brought to mind a similar situation that happened a couple of years ago in which a popular Gospel singer had her own public cheating scandal to deal with and she, and many others I’m sure, also stated that faith kept her from leaving her husband after he, too, was unfaithful. My question though is, would this same curtesy be offered to these women or any woman who cheated on her husband? I cannot, but perhaps you can, think of a case where a woman cheated and it was made public, yet her husband stayed. Can you think of an example? I’ll wait.

2. It also seems in a lot of cases that women are made to feel they must stay in relationships or marriages which are unhealthy or toxic even simply because, I mean, how would that look to other people? How would the world receive you as a divorced woman? You’d be damaged goods! Divorce, although a hell of a lot more common than it should be, STILL has a stigma attached to it. Women are shamed for not being able to “keep” a man. Which brings me to my next thought.

3. So many of us just do not understand the importance of learning how to love ourselves, knowing our self worth. It does NOT mean you aren’t worthy of love if you are single whether that be by divorce or simply not being found by the right man yet. Singleness, although it may at times feel like it, is not a curse. There’s a blessing in every single season of your life. Embrace it! Now, let me also say here that I am not advocating for divorce. I’m simply expressing my thoughts and pointing out a few things I have noticed over time. Y’all let me know your thoughts in the comments.

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