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  • Shakina Cooley

Fantasyland; The Land of Broken Hearts

DATING SUCKS!!!! Or at least those are the sentiments of many singles on the dating scene. But let me just say that I am about to get real with you so if you can’t handle the truth, you may want to exit this post here… Ladies, a lot of times WE are the ones who make dating hard FOR OURSELVES!! 😱 Yes, I said it and I mean it. Think about it. So many of us unrealistically believe that we can “change” him or his mind when a man tells us he is not looking for a relationship, only wants to be friends, is only looking for a good time. *Let me say here that I am in no way, shape or form excusing men from taking responsibility for their part in this because they definitely DO play a part in this as well, however, I am talking to the ladies as I know firsthand about this issue.* I know of, and have been in, situations where the man says UP FRONT that he is NOT looking to be serious and yet we allow him to hang out with us, get in our heads and our hearts, and in many cases, our beds then when the ish hits the fan and he either stops texting/calling, tells us he’s now in a relationship or worse getting married, we’re left feeling hurt and betrayed. The thing is, more often than not, the reason we feel so hurt and upset is that we allowed what we WANTED to cloud our judgment. We allowed the FANTASY of what we wanted to keep us from paying attention to the REALITY of things. Yes, he treated you as if you were in a relationship (or at least YOU thought he did)  although he said he wasn’t interested in being in one. Yes, he told you he liked you and cared a lot about you and made you feel special. Yes, his actions were contradictory to his words (more on this in a second), and we’ve been taught that actions speak louder than words. So, when we take a step back and REALLY access the situation, I am willing to bet that the actions we perceived to be contradictory, in fact, really weren’t. He told you he didn’t want a relationship and he never gave you a title. He called and texted you, but many times YOU were the one to call or text first. You had sex, but sex does not equate to love. The Bible tells us to guard our hearts above ALL else. Ladies, we’ve got to be more careful with our hearts. That thing is fragile, girl! Protect it! If a man tells you he doesn’t see himself being with you, BELIEVE HIM! And by believing him, that means do NOT allow your thoughts of a fairytale ending to have you saying “Well, maybe if I just…” No! If he doesn’t want a relationship, marriage, kids, etc, CUT 👏🏾 IT 👏🏾OFF👏🏾! No need in wasting time and getting your heart broken. YOU gotta look out for YOU! Take care of yourselves out there, ladies!

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