• Shakina Cooley

I’ll Take Entanglement For $500, Alex!

Okay, so I’m not usually one to talk about other people’s business and I typically do not care to keep up with celebrities, BUT this has been allll in my face the past few weeks and while Will and Jada owed us NO explanation, they gave us one. Because they talked about it, I think it’s a good way to point out quite a few things we can learn from them and this whole situation. Before I tell you my many thoughts, let me just tell you the definitions I found of the word “entanglement”. One definition says it is “a complicated or compromising relationship”, another says it is “the condition of being deeply involved”. I think a lot of us can attest to being a part of some “entanglements” ourselves if we’re honest, but that’s neither here nor there. So… Here are some of my thoughts on the situation…

-We really need to stop making other people our #relationshipgoals. Here’s the thing, each and every relationship has issues. Hell, if you are single, YOU have issues. Issues are inevitable, what’s important is how you handle them. Maybe cheating isn’t your issue, maybe it’s miscommunication. Maybe it isn’t miscommunication, it’s differing opinions on parenting. Whatever the case, you have them so… be your own #relationshipgoals! Every relationship is unique because the two people in it are unique.

-Believe it or not, despite what we have been conditioned to believe, men have feelings! Are you clutching your pearls? I know right. It’s quite a surprising concept and do you know why? Well, that’s a conversation that’ll take yearsss to break down, but I can point to a couple of reasons I think stand out. Men are raised to suppress their emotions or they’re considered weak or “girly”, because women buy in to this notion, we disregard men’s feelings or label them as liars when they share them

-Women CAN be predators. Now, hear me out here, I am not saying that Jada intentionally preyed on August for her own selfish gain or anything of the sort, but I AM saying it happens. I don’t know what was going on in Jada’s head or what exactly happened because I was not there, but I can say that just as we speak out and voice our opinions when we feel a man has preyed on some poor, unsuspecting young woman, know that the same can happen to young men as it pertains to older women.

-Before Jada came out and admitted that she and August were involved, people were QUICK to call him a liar and question his masculinity and bash him mercilessly. Why is that? It’s usually women who are pegged as emotional and men are supposed to “man up” and move on. There have been countless women who have come out and “let the cat out of the bag” about sleeping with married men and although in some cases the woman is mocked and ridiculed, nine times out of ten, she’s believed without question and it’s seen as something to be expected. Cheating is what men do after all, right? Men cheat, women get attached, and life goes on, right? We never really talk about the fact that the opposite can also be true.

-Sometimes it takes a separation in order to remind you why you belong with the person you separated from. There’s a saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, this really can be true in some cases. Who’s to say that the separation and dealing with other people isn’t what was needed to make Will and Jada’s relationship stronger?

-There is not a person, a product, a platform, amount of money in the bank to make you happy if you are not happy with yourself. We tend to think “If I just had x,y,z I’d be happier” when the truth is you have to learn to be happy with God and yourself because nothing in this world can do that for you. Kids won’t make you happy. A man or woman won’t make you happy. Sex, money, houses, cars, NOTHING, but YOU can make YOU happy.

-We have to stop making people feel as if it’s their fault if a partner cheats on them. The only person you have control over is YOU. It doesn’t make you less than. It doesn’t mean you can’t “keep” (I absolutely despise this phrase) a man or woman. If someone wants to cheat, they will and it has nothing to do with you. You can be the most amazing person in the world, but if cheating is what that person wants to do, then guess what? Unless THEY decide not to, they will cheat.

#blacklove #intimacy #entanglement #relationships #love #romance #cheating

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