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  • Shakina Cooley

Paul, Porn, & Prejudice

I can already hear the angry mob of “saints” gathering with pitch forks to condemn me to hell, BUT this is my blog, my opinion. That being said, I know what we’ve all been taught about premarital sex as well as things like masturbation and porn. I’ve heard many sermons in which disdain was expressed for women who decide to have sex before marriage although the same can’t always be said for men, in fact, more often than not, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is said in regards to men and maintaining their purity sexually. It is almost expected that men be excluded from all things surrounding purity. Men are often openly encouraged to masturbate, to test the waters of dating, to “sow their royal oats”. No one is disappointed with or angry about a man who barely made it to middle school with his virginity intact yet women are shamed left and right if they so much as express their sexual desires. Were we not ALL, both men AND women, given the same commandments from God? I personally believe that masturbation is healthy and much safer as it pertains to unwanted pregnancies, STD’s, unnecessary drama than having sex with whoever. We are bombarded with sexual images day in and day out and regardless of a person being a virgin or not, we are human and we were created with sexual desires. That is nothing to be ashamed of, I really truly feel it should be more openly discussed in the church and not just amongst the married couples. Don’t just tell singles to pray and wait on God. Be open and honest. We need to know what the real deal is. How do we deal with these desires? If we aren’t taught what to do as singles, how are we able to be prepared for healthy sex lives within a marriage? I have said before that I really believe it’s important for women especially to explore their own bodies and to learn what they like, what feels good to them, I still believe and stand by that. Why should men be the only ones encouraged to do so? I also think porn can be very helpful in learning to express sexuality. Also good for fantasy as the brain is the biggest sex organ. Porn can give you an idea for things to try whenever you get to that point. You can learn about different positions, toys, new places to have sex. I really think porn gets a bad rep a lot of times for many different reasons, but it can also serve a great purpose such as helping women discover things they never knew about themselves. Our bodies are beautiful. We should learn to appreciate them for all of the wonderful things they can do. Watch porn, fantasize about what you’d like to have done, explore your body. Go for it! Sex doesn’t have to be a team sport. 😉

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